The Fear Factor

Picture from randalldsmith.com

I was afraid of the dark most of my childhood. I dreaded the night and especially bed time because it would be time to face my deepest fear anew. My only salvation was those moments I could sleep with my sister. I would anchor myself to her with my cold feet and pray for the sun to come out.

I slowly grew out of that fear by necessity when I came to college. I spent the first two years in the single rooms of on-campus housing. I had to learn to sleep comfortably in the dark. Alone. 

I remember vividly my first night by myself in my single room of the Paddyfote Honors block. I woke up in the middle of the night to use the restroom. The moment I opened my door, an unexpected battle ensued. It was me versus the flying roach. I cannot say clearly whether I lost the battle that day, but I know that I won the war. If I could face a silent battle in the cloak of the night with an aggressive insect, surely I could sleep in the dark, although I was paranoid my adversary would return for at least two weeks.

Unfortunately, I ended up trading one fear for another freshman year. I stopped being afraid of the dark and actually started being afraid of a skill I needed most, communicating with my professors. I can remember the biggest crises of my life that affected my academics in college. The most traumatic one was the death of my brother, and luckily my friends and colleagues relayed to my teachers, so I did not have to. When I returned to school, I was able to return to business as usual.

I was not able to escape my fear forever.

Maybe this sounds silly to you, so let me explain. The fear is really not about communicating. It is the fear of rejection and dejection. I hate to disappoint the people whom I respect. In a way, I feel that even when I am swamped with things outside of school, still none of that provides a good enough excuse to slack in my academic endeavors. So instead of making an illegitimate excuse, I choose to not offer one at all. I realized that I wanted to avoid the negative even though it didn’t make the bad situation go away.  In fact, it made it worse.

In the book “Do the Right Thing: PR Tips for a Skeptical Public,” James Hoggan espouses that PR people should “never ignore the ‘elephant in the room.’” On page 111, he states, “Business people tend to avoid speaking about problems and focus instead on solutions and benefits.” Another good point that he makes is that “Good communications on a serious issue begins with straight talk about the problem and then moves on to solutions and benefits.”  

I realized I was not just being a “scaredy cat.” I was not doing the right thing.

And overcoming my fear has made me a better woman.